Manuary Officially Returns (print story follow-up)
February 2, 2012 • Kobi Malamud ('12)/Eastside Radio Manager
It is now official: Manuary is coming back. After diehard follower Magnus von Steelson began an intense moment to override the government’s abolition of his favorite holiday, government officials began to take notice. Collecting over 20 million signatures after being moved to the internet, Steelson’s... Read more »
Democrats retaliate with coffee party
November 18, 2011 • Juliet Brooks ('13)/Eastside News/Features Editor
The Democratic Party announced today that they are no longer waiting for an invitation to the Republican Tea Party. “I’m really hurt,” President Barack Obama said in an official statement this morning. “I’ve been waiting two years for an invitation. At first, I really... Read more »
Boy With Biggest Backpack: “Don’t bring me down”
October 19, 2011 • Sarah Robbins ('13)/Eastside Staff
By now you must heard of a new menace that plagues our halls and terrifies our students. The kid with the biggest backpack, nicknamed the backpack boy, looms over our halls like a shadow, primarily because most of the time he’s blocking out the sun. Those of us with pale skin do not appreciate this... Read more »
The busiest teacher at East balances a rigorous schedule
October 19, 2011 • Gilana Levavi ('14)/Eastside Editorial Assistant
My name is Mr. B. Z. Teechurr and I am the busiest teacher at East. I know, you think all teachers are busy—they have to educate the future generation, while grading papers, updating progress-book, frightening children, etc. —but I assure you; I am the busiest. Here. I’ll show you: 1. Before school,... Read more »
New class, Recreational Chemistry, teaches students the ins and outs of making things explode
October 19, 2011 • Juliet Brooks ('13)/Eastside News/Features editor
Amidst recent talk of scheduling changes and mandatory curriculum adjustments, Cherry Hill East has added several new classes to its repertoire. Perhaps the most controversial of these new classes is Recreational Chemistry (AP), a class which chemistry teacher Mr. Mite Boombaum describes as “barely... Read more »
Bradley has newfound passion for Tea Party views
October 19, 2011 • Kyle Bigley ('13)/Eastside Staff
For those of you who think political primary debates are boring, filthy things, chock-full of talking-points, with no impact on the actual problems facing the workingman or workingwoman, think again. Michael Bradley, 65, of Cherry Hill, New Jersey, likened the experience of watching the Tea Party Republican... Read more »
Community voice: I want to stay in school
July 26, 2011 • Sherin Nassar ('13) / Eastside Humor Editor
I want to stay in school. Is that such a hard request? Yes, I graduated this year. And yes, I’m 18. And yes, I don’t need or have any courses to repeat, but I want to stay at East. My name is Laura Hinderson and this is true life: I’m addicted to my high school. Just kidding about the true life... Read more »
Harry Potter countdown: Day 2, Emma Watson transferring from Brown to Hogwarts
June 28, 2011 • Juliet Brooks ('13)/ Eastside News/Features Editor
Emma Watson announced early this morning that she is leaving Brown University yet again—this time to return to England. Specifically, Watson is leaving the prestigious liberal arts college to go to Hogwarts for real this time. She said, “Well, I get a lot of Hogwarts letters from fans. Some are... Read more »
Teachers vs. Students: Bloopers Episode
June 9, 2011 • Thomas Hudson ('14) and Eric Thompson ('14)/ Eastside Staff
In the season finale, watch bloopers from episodes past: embedded by Embedded VideoYouTube Direkt Read More →
Nap AP/H to be offered as an elective at east
May 27, 2011 • Gina Villecco ('11)/Eastside humor editor
O’Schmeeza announced just yesterday morning that the elective “Nap” will officially be added to the curriculum as of next year. Available solely to upperclassmen, the Nap elective will be offered in both advanced placement and honors levels. If one takes the class, the student will be required... Read more »
Seniors cut a path to Disney World
May 27, 2011 • Kobi Malamud ('12)/Eastside staff
It seems this year some seniors could not get enough of Mickey, Minnie and Donald Duck. The Monday after the senior class came back from the Walt Disney World trip, the majority of them were still absent from school. Under the notion that they were celebrating senior-cut day, nobody cared to consider... Read more »
Pro-prom tips from Jake and Gina
May 23, 2011 • Jake Trommer ('11)/Eastside humor editor, Gina Villecco ('11)/Eastside humor editor
Having trouble finding a date to prom? Don’t know what styles are in this season? Need the most creative way to ask your date? Don’t worry, senior. The TOP TEN most frequently asked questions, hopes and prayers have been answered. Good luck and have fun! 1. Remember, no means yes. So if it... Read more »
Runners dig in around east
May 23, 2011 • bryan sheehan ('13)/eastside staff
Today, East Principal Ron O’Schmeeza unveiled the school’s newest security feature; a twenty-foot deep moat encircling the school, complete with animal infested waters, a drawbridge and a black knight on horseback. The idea to build a moat came after members of the winter track team ran around the... Read more »
“Friday” becomes the new ‘F-word’
May 12, 2011 • Gina Villecco ('11)/Eastside humor editor
Rebecca Black, the terrible teen-pop sensation that is sweeping the nation, is giving Friday a whole new reputation. Thirteen-year-old Black just recently impressed the media with something they thought Miley Cyrus mastered years ago, terrible singing. The song “Friday,” was uploaded onto the video-sharing... Read more »
After School Special, Episode 10
May 9, 2011 • Hannah Feinberg ('12), Sarah Minion ('12), Gabi Kains ('12) and Becca Mulberg ('12)
Hannah and Sarah ask students what they see… embedded by Embedded VideoYouTube Direkt Read More →
Release the hounds
May 6, 2011 • Jake Trommer ('11)/ Eastside Humor Editor
Students in Ms. Jen Kinnsey’s AP English class learned that the consequences for doing poorly on assignments are more severe than they had initially thought when Kinnsey let loose a pack of man-eating dogs on those students who had scored less than an eighty percent on a Don Quixote reading-check test. According... Read more »
After School Special, Episode 9
May 2, 2011
Hannah and Sarah give out lemonade after school… and it’s good. “It’s kind of tart actually.” embedded by Embedded VideoYouTube Direkt Read More →
After School Special, Episode 8
April 28, 2011 • Hannah Feinberg ('12) and Sarah Minion ('12)/ Eastside Community Editor and Eastside Underground Editor
Hannah and Sarah help students to face their fears. Jordan Wohl (’11) is a special guest. embedded by Embedded VideoYouTube Direkt Read More →
Senior pride
April 11, 2011 • Max Littleman ('11)
Max believes that the senior class is "killin'". YEAH, SENIORS, WE’RE THE BEST. AIN’T NOBODY IN THIS SCHOOL BETTA THAN US. WE GOT THIS, YOU KNOW. TWENTY ELEVEN MY FRIENDS. ALL WE DO IS WIN, HOLLA. YEAH WE REPPIN’ SENIORS. TWO, ZERO, ONE, ONE, ALL THE WAY AROUND THE WORLD. REPRESENT... Read more »
The “hobo” look is hot
April 11, 2011 • Demitra Hashishi (‘11)
Demitra is comfortable all day, every day I’ve been in this school for four years now. FOUR. Do you know how many hours of compiling cute outfits that is? I don’t know either, but it’s tiring. I’m proud of my sweat collection, honestly. I’ve got a motley of college jackets, sweatshirts and... Read more »
I am the most boring kid you will ever meet
April 11, 2011
Hello. I don’t really know what to say because I’m so boring. I figured “hello” was a pretty standard greeting. So, yeah. I still don’t really know what to say… Maybe I could talk about the weather. Last time I checked it was raining. Rain is pretty boring, you can’t do much in the rain,... Read more »
I am very disappointed people only talk to me for free stuff
April 11, 2011 • Sergeant First Class Daye, US Army
Sergeant Day tries to recruit students who are only interested in his carabiners Good morning, students of Cherry Hill East. I am Tim Daye, Sergeant First Class, United States Army, and I am very disappointed in all of you. Every few weeks in Cafeteria One, I would set up my table with the cool little... Read more »
Vampires Suck
April 5, 2011 • Mina Zakhary ('11)/Eastside staff
In recent years, vampires have gained a glamorous image as the brightest members of the occult, mainly due to Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series. However, Cherry Hill East’s own vampire, Winston Fang (‘12), offers a different view on everyone’s favorite undead species. “When I got my powers,”... Read more »
I’m shamelessly addicted to random facts
April 5, 2011 • Dora Findleman ('13)
Did you know that elephants have greeting ceremonies when a friend that has been away for some time returns to the group? No. You probably didn’t. But I did! Hi, I’m sophomore Dora Findlemen, a.k.a “Fact Girl.” As you can probably guess by my nickname, I know some pretty wicked facts. Oh, phfff.... Read more »
Everyone’s seen a fight at this school but me
April 5, 2011 • Benji Oswald ('12)
I never see any fights. Never. I’ve been at this school four years and I’ve not seen one. Benji has yet to witness a fight at East That brawl in C-Wing intersection that turned into a rumble? Missed it. The Day Of The Catfights freshman year? Wrong place at the wrong time for all of them. Jensen’s... Read more »
Lady Gaga wears normal clothes
April 5, 2011 • Juliet Brooks ('13)/Eastside news/features editor
Lady Gaga appeared in public yesterday wearing normal clothing. Several shocked witnesses inside the ShopRite in Montbury, CA, confirmed that the lady in the jeans and GAP sweatshirt was, indeed, the iconic singer. “I was taking my afternoon stroll down the dairy aisle and I saw her examining the low... Read more »
After School Special: Episode 6
March 28, 2011 • Hannah Feinberg ('12)/ Eastside Community Editor and Sarah Minion ('12)/ Eastside Underground Editor
embedded by Embedded VideoYouTube Direkt Hannah and Sarah go to the weight room and talk to some of East’s daily lifters… Read More →
After School Special: Episode 5
March 22, 2011 • Hannah Feinberg ('12)/ Eastside Community Editor and Sarah Minion ('12)/ Eastside Underground Editor
Hannah and Sarah give out major awards… embedded by Embedded VideoYouTube Direkt Read More →
After School Special: Episode 3
March 14, 2011 • Hannah Feinberg ('12)/ Eastside Community Editor and Sarah Minion ('12)/ Eastside Underground Editor
Hannah and Sarah explores the murals of East, with the help of East students… embedded by Embedded VideoYouTube Direkt Read More →
I can only express my true thoughts and feelings through deep, metaphorical, Shakespearean, poems
March 14, 2011 • Lulu Pao ('12)
Lulu ponders the meaning of life...in iambic pentameter, of course. True beauty ist thine nature. The life we liveth now is the façade for unknown horrors; unspeakable mistreasures; masked misery with which we associate our lifeless bodies. These halls host the shadows we overlook to camouflage the... Read more »
After School Special: Episode 3
March 8, 2011
East students go bowling in the cafeteria: embedded by Embedded VideoYouTube Direkt Read More →
I am the biggest follower, but I won’t admit it
March 8, 2011 • Christina Hellamn (‘11)
So, I like totally LOVE all the hottest trends. Usually, I secretly scope out what other girls are wearing and blow daddy’s paycheck on the next big dig. I was like, the third girl in middle school to start wearing Birkenstocks and I totally helped bring back Abercrombie and American Eagle as well... Read more »
My Life of Affluence and Material Comfort Stinks
March 8, 2011 • Tom Geofferson ('11)
Hey. Do you know who I am? Probably not. Nobody knows who I am. Nobody understands my pain. Nobody. My name is Tom, but names no longer mean anything to me. Not since I realized how much my life sucks. My parents both make steady livings and all my material desires are being met, and do you know how... Read more »
Life from a central perspective
March 8, 2011 • Kaneel Smith ('11)
Kaneel discusses stocks and bonds with his friends amidst the chaos of C-Wing intersection Yo, man, what’s up? You might not know me by name, but you know who I am. I’m Kaneel Smith, and I am the man who with his buddies blocks up C-wing intersection every day. Now, some of you may be wondering,... Read more »
