I am the biggest follower, but I won’t admit it
March 8, 2011 • Christina Hellamn (‘11)
So, I like totally LOVE all the hottest trends. Usually, I secretly scope out what other girls are wearing and blow daddy’s paycheck on the next big dig. I was like, the third girl in middle school to start wearing Birkenstocks and I totally helped bring back Abercrombie and American Eagle as well... Read more »
My Life of Affluence and Material Comfort Stinks
March 8, 2011 • Tom Geofferson ('11)
Hey. Do you know who I am? Probably not. Nobody knows who I am. Nobody understands my pain. Nobody. My name is Tom, but names no longer mean anything to me. Not since I realized how much my life sucks. My parents both make steady livings and all my material desires are being met, and do you know how... Read more »
Life from a central perspective
March 8, 2011 • Kaneel Smith ('11)
Kaneel discusses stocks and bonds with his friends amidst the chaos of C-Wing intersection Yo, man, what’s up? You might not know me by name, but you know who I am. I’m Kaneel Smith, and I am the man who with his buddies blocks up C-wing intersection every day. Now, some of you may be wondering,... Read more »
That’s my spot
March 8, 2011 • Sean Farfield ('11)
"The Shadow" watches the halls from C-Wing Intersection They call me “The Shadow” because I spend all my time at that one corner of C-wing intersection, you know what I’m talking about… That’s right, I’m “The Shadow.” I earned that title because I lurk in the shadows of C-wing... Read more »
I’m that annoying kid in class that makes you want to hurl
March 8, 2011 • Jack Yandel ('14)/Eastside staff
You know that kid that sits next to you in class that smells a little funny and chews on the pencil you always give him to borrow? You probably wouldn’t recognize me because you do everything in your power not to look at me while I’m sticking boogers under the desk or shooting spitballs at the whiteboard.... Read more »
My math class is driving me insane
March 8, 2011 • Wendy McDonald ('12)
I’m a pretty smart kid; I get good grades, I’m involved in after-school activities, I have a good group of friends… you know how it is. First marking period, junior year, I (for the first time) get a “C”… all because of my poor excuse for a learning environment. Let’s see… first, I’d... Read more »
New show focuses on life right after 2:30
February 12, 2011 • Becca Mulberg ('12)/ Eastside Video Editor, Mia Holley ('12)/ Eastside Photo Editor, Hannah Feinberg/ Eastside Community Editor and Sarah Minion ('12)/ Eastside Underground Editor
See a preview of “After School Special,” which focuses on the thoughts of those leaving CH East right after school ends: embedded by Embedded VideoYouTube Direkt Read More →
Ravin’s Theory: the internet is just a distraction
January 4, 2011 • Ravin Patel ('13)/Eastside staff
Some people say that the Internet is the greatest invention ever. However, for adolescents its one of the worst things ever created. Most of the homework a teacher assigns involves the use of the computer and Internet. There are many helpful websites that can be used to complete assignments, but at the... Read more »
Secret Rock Band meeting in school bathroom
November 20, 2010 • Kobi Malamud ('12)/Eastside Staff
Over the past month, several groups of students have been sneaking off from class to secretly play Rock Band in the East bathrooms. This daily ritual, which went unnoticed for quite some time, first caught the attention of Mr. Alvaro Lomas, a Spanish teacher at East, when he was on hall-monitor duty. “I... Read more »
Ravin’s Theory: high-fives trump all gestures
November 7, 2010 • Ravin Patel ('13)/ Eastside Staff
Handshakes are great for formal occasions with teachers and parents. Hugs are ideal for family and friends. Anything beyond that is a little weird. However, amongst the best are high fives – they work in almost every situation. Whether with the mailman, those guys from the Jersey Shore (which... Read more »
Ravin’s Theory on Life: Appreciate Small Miracles
October 4, 2010 • Ravin Patel ('13)
People always wish for the same things. They want to win the car of their dreams. They want an iPhone or Blackberry. They want to pass that benchmark in U.S. History AP or Pre-Calculus; they started studying the day before. Most of these scenarios are miracles if they happen. However, I think it is very... Read more »
Mother of East student sends concerned email about schedule mix-up
August 30, 2010 • Gina Villecco ('11)/ Eastside Humor Editor
Yesterday at 10:51 a.m Francine Quinton, 49, sent a very concerned email to guidance counselor Ravine Brady, 53, about her son, Marcus Quinton (’13), and his schedule. According to the email, “Marcus signed up for Cooking, but in return he got Computer Graphics,” wrote Francine. The... Read more »
Xenomorph Infestation at East
June 27, 2010 • Jake Trommer ('11)/Humor Editor
Haylee Kline (’13) unwittingly unleashed an extraterrestrial life form of unknown origin that had taken up residence in the bowels of D-wing when it sprang out of the ceiling and attached itself to her face. “Mmf! Grfff! Mmmmh,” said Kline. The alien, which resembled a large spider with a tail,... Read more »
Things that suck
June 7, 2010 • Jack Pinsky ('10)/ For Eastside
This advice column will ensure that the public remains safe from various evils in our hectic world. In these articles, I confront the ultimate problems facing everyday human existence with unyielding scrutiny. Be warned… you will laugh. Perhaps even cackle. That, my friends, is the goal in writing... Read more »
The Nicolle and Zach Show tackles Disney World
April 22, 2010 • The Nicolle and Zach Show Staff
Double guests Jared Widman (’10) and Marissa Goldberg (’10) sit in on the fourth installment of the Nicolle and Zach show. Ah, the memories of the Senior trip and what they brought to this class. 4/20 and anger are other honorable mentions. http://www.podcastrevolution.com/viewpodcast.php?pid=939 Read More →
Zach and Nicolle Show tackles whales
March 19, 2010 • Nicolle Rochino ('10)/ Eastside Art Director, Zach Schwartz ('10)/ Eastside Humor Editor and Brooke Weiss ('10)/ Eastside News/Features Editor [Edited by Autreen Rahbari ('10)/ Eastside Radio Manager]
Brooke Weiss (’10) guest stars to discuss scary kids movies, killer whales, justice and monkeys, amongst other things. Even Autreen Rahbari (’10) pipes in every once in awhile. http://www.podcastrevolution.com/viewpodcast.php?pid=939 Read More →
Student takes gym sports seriously
March 5, 2010 • Gina Villecco ('11)/ Eastside Staff
George B. Johnson (’10) is the man with a plan; a game plan that is. Floor hockey, a familiar old gym sport, is now on the rise to becoming as big as college football and basketball all thanks to Johnson. “I’ve always like to explore the unknown, you know?” Said Johnson, “When I stepped... Read more »
Local man confused by concept of leap year
March 1, 2010 • Zach Schwartz ('10)/ Eastside Humor Editor
An Area man has entered a depression, caused mainly by confusion over the concept of leap years as well as the month of February in general. Noah Marlin, 47, pondered February’s twenty-eight days compared to the rest of the calendar year for nearly all of his life, much to the annoyance of coworkers, who... Read more »
Nicolle and Zach show officially debuts online
February 7, 2010 • Nicolle Rochino ('10)/ Eastside Art Director, Zach Schwartz ('10)/ Eastside Humor Editor ('10) and Alex Krefetz ('10)/ Eastside Staff. [Edited by Autreen Rahbari ('10)/ Eastside Radio Manager]
http://www.podcastrevolution.com/viewpodcast.php?pid=939 The arbitrary and adorable musings of Zach Schwartz and Nicolle Rochino are a different kind of stroke of life. Episode Summary: Napkins, Fifa, clothing and explosions. Just another day. Guest Starring: Alex Krefetz (’10) Read More →
Bus driver deliberately late on testing days
January 27, 2010 • Andrew Huff ('10/ Eastside Humor Editor
Cherry Hill bus driver Cynthia Swift, 47, was charged with two counts of reckless endangerment of grade point averages yesterday morning. A jury sentenced her to 1 year of administering East math contests, alone. Swift plead not guilty to purposely arriving late to every stop on her 15-minute route whenever... Read more »
The Zach and Nicolle Show: A Sneak Preview
January 11, 2010 • Nicolle Rochino ('10), Zach Schwartz ('10) and Autreen Rahbari ('10)/ Eastside Art Director, Humor Editor and Radio Manager
Zach Schwartz (’10) and Nicolle Rochino (’10) are gearing up for a new show that is sure to be filled with exciting moments and memorable guests. In the meantime, check out a sneak preview of the two discussing the holidays, Bop-it and other relevant topics: http://www.podcastrevolution.com/viewpodcast.php?pid=939 Read More →
Spirit week cut to spirit minute
December 15, 2009 • Jason Cominetto ('10)/ Eastside Underground Editor
Spirit week was another rousing success this year, with the seniors pulling off the first win for a graduating class in the school’s history. Despite the unprecedented victory of the senior class there is already talk for drastic changes to occur to the beloved East tradition next year, including a... Read more »
East student learns chemistry from word search
December 15, 2009 • Emily Hsu ('12)/ For Eastside
Recently, East administrators have noticed a slight increase in students’ testing averages in subjects related to science. Upon looking for the source of this increase, they found that one student in particular, Waldo Wallington (’13), has made remarkable improvement. Investigations report that... Read more »
King Markowitz posts decree on field trips
December 12, 2009 • Steven Markowitz ('10)/ Eastside Underground Editor
I, King Markowitz, voted for by you, the good people of East, find it my responsibility to create new laws to improve my kingdom of Cherry Hill High School East. My first law shall be that every class, academic or elective, be required to go on at least three field trips per year. Field trips are an... Read more »
Recycling scandal arises in Cherry Hill
December 12, 2009 • Rob Incollingo ('10)/ Eastside Editor-in-Chief
A truck collects recyclables in Vienna. Image courtesy of www.yorkblog.com A scandal involving the redemption of RecycleBank points through good recycling habits has arisen within the wealthy Cherry Hill neighborhood of Vienna, in which numerous residents have been accused of buying and immediately discarding... Read more »
Humor now appears in paper bag
October 14, 2009 • Andrew Huff ('10)/ Eastside Humor Editor, Meredith Medoway ('10)/ Eastside Entertainment Editor, Amanda Michelson ('10)/ Eastside Editor-in-Chief and Autreen Rahbari ('10)/ Eastside Radio Manager
The world’s most profound podcasting source, Paper Bag News, provides a source of straight news stories that combines with a level and unbiased discussion of news that will throw listeners into epiphany and ecstacy. Click here to listen: http://www.podcastrevolution.com/file/eastside/audio/Dupont.mp3 Click... Read more »
Thief Perspective
October 11, 2009 • Sherin Nassar ('13)
I have a secret to tell… I, Andrew H. Days, am the school thief. I cannot and must not let anyone else take credit – err, blame – for my stealing. It was I who stole Sarah Jean’s neck brace; I who stole John Caller’s chocolate birthday cake, and I have been the one stealing Mr. Deleon’s chalk…every... Read more »
Miracle in Mayes’ Backyard
October 8, 2009 • Prashasti Awadhiya (’12)
East student Brett Mayes (’11) was anointed a true Cherry Hill citizen when he discovered a batch of cherries growing under his mother’s shrubs last week. Mayes was chasing his squirrel when this phenomenon happened. “I was playing peek-a-boo with Billy, my squirrel, because it was one in the... Read more »
Alpacas Replace School Buses
October 8, 2009 • Adam Ritz ('10)
This year, our school has been doing all it can to reduce its environmental footprint, from implementing new eco friendly toilet paper dispensers to cutting down the amount of eco-savage appliances in the school. But now East has taken a drastic step towards the former. As of last week, the school’s... Read more »
Predatory Bird Abducts East Student
October 8, 2009 • Gina Villecco ('11)
At approximately 7:45 am on October 6, East student Donald Ronaldson (’13) was abducted by an excessively large red-tailed hawk. Students claim that in the weeks leading up to the abduction, the giant bird had been seen lurking around the school during the day, perching atop the flagpole, peering into... Read more »
Senior sues moon
August 14, 2009 • Andrew Huff ('10)/ Eastside Humor Editor
In an unprecedented legal maneuver, Cherry Hill resident Luna Smyth, age 94, has filed a civil suit against the moon. Smyth, who told reporters that her suit stems from “an unjust obscuring of the Perseid meteor shower that greatly dismantled my emotional stability,” has a well-known affinity for... Read more »
Pokémon invade Cherry Hill East
July 16, 2009 • Zach Schwartz ('10)/ Eastside Humor Editor
During the summer months, less maintenance is required to keep East up and running. Among other things, the school’s lawn is allowed to grow freely. A month’s worth of such neglect has led to a waist-high grass sprouting up around the school. And with tall grass come wild Pokémon. Much to the... Read more »
Spongy, Square, and Alive?
July 16, 2009 • Andrew Huff ('10)/ Eastside Humor Editor
Nearly ten years ago, a mystical creature burst the bubble of reality as the human race had known it, and cackled his way to the top of pop culture. Said to live within the confines of a tropical fruit fathoms below sea level, this porous creature has squeezed laughter out of stoic children with the... Read more »
“Slush Age” imminent
July 2, 2009 • Andrew Huff ('10)/ Eastside Humor Editor
Slurping up a slushy will never be the same. Finnish and New Guinean scientists in the North Pole studying the properties of glaciers and arctic water have made a startling discovery in relation to the multi-faceted substance. Project “Let’s Investigate Properties of Glaciers on Land or Somewhere... Read more »
